well, i'm also in 'her' place nowhere near that line. frankly speak, i'm screwed up right now.

if before i like to involve with love,

two love

and then triangle love. (quite frustrated, right?)

how about change to dream, sacrifice and inspire.

speak of mine, i had two different dream. like night and day. and very hard to achieve. i admit.

one is mathematically business. another is scientifically fiction. well, i'm also in 'her' place nowhere near that line. frankly speak, i'm screwed up right now. :*(

hence the laughter

the more you explain the complicated it turns.

say if there is two events involved in one person.

likely to be a triangle love.

one is for you love the most and he is the one.

one is for the love of ur family, he's too kind. and you worship his love.

you chose the second instead of the first, and you married him.

even though you know that you are in the middle of the line and still undecidable.

the first couldnt accept his fate...

next day after tomorrow,

u heartbroken and almost left with half of ur heart.

the second irresponsible. he didnt kept his word till the end.

you met the first. and fell into that adventure world. again.

where there is no wreck and no lies,

as if the world is belong to u and him.

...

too bad. the happiness just stick like a glue. doesnt stay long.

he bobbed up and down the past. he couldnt accept it.

at last he leave u. and u

u are in nowhere near to that line again.

moral of the story:

i know everyone bobbed up and down. the past and the present.

in fact we learn from it. but there is a time where you couldnt explain thing right.

the more u explain the complicated it turns. it even tougher if they still think ur explanation is excuse. that why understanding is important. understand each other is one of the best technique. like flour and egg. u hv to stir them wisely to make them 'understand' each other and to form a good product.

hence the laughter

concerning and worrying, both are different thing. right?

i know. i know. people would think that this is just a smallest thing to worry about. well u noe, me. hehe. not really getting hysteria but just CONCERNING. concerning and worrying are different things right? nway on that day, i was basically concerning about blackheads on my nose. so decide to do this, some sort of homemade facial. did I just said HOMEMADE? sorry. that's just sounds wrong. some kind of facial therapy. it's natural. which means that chemical free. nothing to do with artificial cream, moisture of anything. hee. :D

first facial process is to do with EGG and TISSUES. i know some of u guys maybe disgusted when egg is ON ur face. but girls, being disgust only for 15 mins wouldn't be that eeuuwww. cos the smooth and fair skin is what we get in return. hee :D

second facial process is to do toothbrush and toothpaste. i know this is looking so odd to me but the combination of toothpaste on nose doesnt really disgusted, unlike with egg. when i tried, the mint doesnt really felt on nose, maybe cos brushed it too hard. better try it slowly next time. (nodding).

and this is the result after both process, actually i would've call this as a big proceed. proceed for removing blackheads. xD

hence the laughter

Untitled confession - code we trying to know you, that's all

We had an argument a while ago, not big deal but small matter u noe girls...the story starts, F discovered our NOT-REALLY-A-SECRET!she start to ask E and E doesnt meant to lie or hiding it. She was on her way to tell F. but it too little too late. she found it first and think it 'negatively' i mean some misunderstanding happen in this. the secret was involved M and E and I mainly hide it because of F bro birthday. E and I promised to come early to F house in the morning but cancel.
my dad ask us to come to CBS. we cannot refused it. cos we moaned about hanging out with family the other day before. so. we still going. we didnt know M coming until his dad rang my dad and said tht he's coming. my dad totally shocked cos they coming, it is very rare tht they would come with us on tht day.

and the badminton game with M, in which F really disappointed on. the most. we didnt really plan to play. but IQRAM (uncle Khairul son) bought new badminton set for 4 players. so I want to join them. E doesnt do anything on that time, she's shy and I was the one who being giddy to play, and the game was ACTUALLY BETWEEN ME, EYWA, IQRAM and MUSTAQIM.
nothing bout him at all, he just urgh! idk hw to describe. THAT's ALL!

but in sudden an hour ago, F getting mad at eywa and saying this

A RANDOM MSIAN PEOPLE? excuse me? (i didnt get that word properly)
after all we being through and u said we treat u like a random msian? truly disgraced.

second thing, i've said to her i want to come to her house and she said no one in house and dont bother coming.
i asked why, this is her answer. SY XNK CKP SBB SY X NK UNGKIT BENDE LEPAS. excuse me again. but i think she bring it up first especially the old trafford story. we had plan to go out on tue 28 June to go out and i believe. in fact positive
that i hv said we will go out at 9pm but suddenly u sent me text saying i came at 12 something.
not trying to blame this on any of us whether it is between U, Me or E but to solve it. instead. i want to solve it cos IT'S OUT MATTER, OUR FRIENDSHIP AND WE HAD GONE THROUGH IT.

but F, i hv to say something, why did u say
"korg mcm let do fun things n not to get fatin involved. xyah btau die pon."
do you really think that we having fun? uhuh! we're not at all. M is nothing compared to u. we had more fun when we with u
one thing to remind F: we never had tht intention in mind. how could us? if we think that u're close friend to us and
no one else is. PLUS we trying to know u. u noe.

but its ok. if this happen. we can try to forget it like u always did.
lastly i apologize for EVERYTHING...


OK! stop the drama, here is the most precious to me. atirah my BFF like our T and she called it DP (i actually hv no idea what it is stands for) but nway she's liked it and i'm glad to hear it. if i hv a chance, i wouldnt mind to buy one for her. she'll fit it most
the fact tht she had clashed with his recent bf so i'll suggest her to seek for a new one. who deserve her truthfully and better than a piece of rubbish! btw no matter what tira, i'll support u from behind and good luck buddy! imyilysmuch xxx.

p/s: one thing to learn; try to treat people on their best but not to change them cos it is the best way for them... I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.

hence the laughter

KarisD leaving

29 June '11, a day before karis leaving, we helped her for packing. She slept at our house a night before and we had a good time together, playing monopoly in which she hate the most, after losing many time, haha. poor her, she's not a pro. the best thing is I won the game and i'm the one who made everybody losing their properties. hahaha(evil laugh)

we had a meal next, just a normal breakfast with honey puffs and milk plus some rice (BUT IN A SEPERATE MEAL) the quarrel begins afterward. it was me who started. i want to sit on her place but she didnt give it then i went ok, i'll go and eat outside despite of being too sensitive about it. tbh, no one fault cos it wasnt really a big deal. it was just ME who having a bad mood in sudden, in addition i even lied about ipod and said its broke which totally made karis mad and left without a word.

because of this issue, we try to heal them by giving a sweet farewell present and -sorry, you're leaving- card.

the present from NEXT.

a full set of next perfume with body wash, moiturising, facial cream.

silly speech signature. Karis asked why dont u guys write something on it as a mark.

in the meantime while waiting for the 'real' pack, i've taken a shot of my new beautiful shiny watch that i received 2 weeks after bought it. (it was such a long wait)

the leaving card. ; (

our mumbling message which 'SOME' doesnt really make sense or in short nonsense cos its too much to talk. seriously.

lastly from me. I LOVE YOU and gonna MISS u KARIS! xoxo

hence the laughter

I HATE U

it wasnt my type to moan about this,
ANYMORE
but i can't cope with it somehow

.........

but i tell u what!? this is the fifth,
i being complained, and it a bit tough
to bare with patience, u noe!!!???

i'd tried no matter what, but
"i'll tell u what, when u have child-----better teach them how to clean???"
excuse me, what was that huh??? Monkey-head???
who do u think u are?, i've got brain to think, ear to hear
ALRIGHT?? so i'd get what u mean....

just because one simple thing, u out of ur politeness,
i'd never heard of that since i noe u in Sept last year,
i'd respect u so much, even ur wife, eventhough
I HATE IT WHEN I DID IT.

cos i guess u guys just gonna blame one-side
and i mean is just what u hear, not
from explanation. u guys just blabbering
without knowing what is going on.

and TBH, i guess u guys dont have brain
when doing something act, not us,
we think out what we're doing,
although, we not as perfect as u want us to be...

hence the laughter

i dont mind but i care

Same story i bored

and today big slap only face i seen all the lies.

They being nice and gentle

but in 'actual' manner when they with me was all liesthey're two-faces:

liking someone in the way of revenge, jealousy, unsatisfied.

Well, what can i do? mate, go on with that then,

i dont mind but i care about thing i'm doing, alright!?.

Looks like the class huh?

i dont think so

i'm not like u guys,

more like-a-little-baby-lost-down-the-street

to me rather than A CLASSMATE!

lol to pity that someone has to look after u guys.

I dont care if this sound too much but what i heard is

more awful than urs so go and get a life!

hence the laughter

i'm not used to be this kind of person

i dont get this!
not just people around me. i even dont get myself
why do i feel empty inside.
i cant really describe but i can express
where it sometimes lonely and terrified

people around me seems busy with their work,
but me? what did i busy with? huh?
messing with my laptop every night
with random stuff and then go to college
where it is crap for me being
in the class like such an-ignorant-that-has-nothing
horrible to be honest be in that place,
this isnt my choice to be fair,
but i have to admit that i dont have any strength
or not one of those who has strong to face out people
who they really respect from the first time they met,

i have what need but i dont have what i want,
i have the chance but i dont really have idea which one was right
to me, and to be fair it feels like i didnt care.
any of it. it feels most of myself is
by following the rule of someone instead putting
myself and face it. reality. i always said i can do, i will do,
good luck, dont worry, take care, you're the best

but in real, i dont really see it in myself, in fact i dont see any
ability in myself, unless if i just tried to. do and do it again, cos
i noe at last i can do it. but at the end it turns awful
fail, what it is good in me? i dunno. worthless.

i want to cry in front of everybody, or even people
who i noe to let them noe, but i'm not to. cos i noe
that is just useless. not really help but give u shame in return
so what the point, i want to tell that i'm hurt here,
but i'm not cos i'm too coward to face the truth.
i said a good to everybody. give them courage, but to myself
i give rubbish to myself, believing thing that i can barely
think that it is false but i just can help myself through it
sometimes u tried, it failures u somehow,
so do i, it happens same to myself.

i'm not used to be this kind of person in real to be honest,
i hide whenever i'm hurt, i cried slowly whenever i'm in pain,
i dont really noe when its happening,
whenever it hurts or painful, it grows in me lot of time,
i wrote not to harm people, or even to receive any judgement
i wrote just to release my own thought.

hence the laughter

happy new year eve: bad luck but we have the good later

to make it short and simple, the story begins this morning,

my brother, abe shouted for his win bid, and told everybody in the house,

i was like huh! chill what is this??? my dad said he want me to buy new phone

as soon as possible as it for my brother goodness before he go back

then i went ok as the green light. well i dont mind as long as it for right.

we went to liverpool to take the 'stuff' bt the problem started

the seller is quite slow. didnt text the postcode, address and everything

so we stucked in motorway for half an hour, till my bro rang him

he is slow act like Mr H. whatever, back to the topic,

we went to his house, then the conversation running,

the 'stuff' lost charger i mean the main charger,

then my dad want some cut out some payment,

he refuse, then my bro spoke to him for further discussion,

nona-nona-nona

nearly half an hour AGAIN! we stucked in his house,

then went for setting and resetting the 'stuff'

he's slow and quite dumb, suppose to sort everything complete, rite?

but he didnt so things like wasted time more than proper purchase 'stuff'

after then, i got the 'stuff' even top up in, first yeah! of course i'm excited

cos i liked it, Iphone 3gs 32gb bt then it's gone,

cos the mic doesnt work, so we have to return it back,

so the Iphone tht i really wanted, doesnt exist in front of me now

but later~

hence the laughter

its true what we called there's no happy ending in our life, *only happy moment*

flipped.
sick of all of this frustration, grievance, annoyance, depression.
why won't there a space of happiness.
its true what we called there's no happy ending in our life,
*only happy moment*
everything we through in life is everything we learn
through mistake that we made in daily life.
some people even repeat their fault
eventhough they know it's wrong.
but there's also people who cant defeat with their fate.
their destiny. their obstacle.
they pretend to believe but in truth, they aint

they just want to smile so tht another wont hurt
confession is right choice to everyone.
you tell and you shared

but somehow it would hurt another.
and you wont know it.
cos they dont tell, and u didnt ask.
but so far in this. what u know is just to handle it,
and keep it secure in mind tht it is unknown.

hence the laughter

guilty shadows

twinkle twinkle little star
how i wonder what u are.

******

people see thing.
various. many type. bright and dark.
but somehow between those line
grow a shadow where no one believe
was it right or wrong
no one can judge.

but inside, the guilt that grow for long
she cant handle it, she had enough with it
she just want to get rid. but no one care.
no one ever ask how she feels
inside.

she shame of herself. living with those shadows.
she wishes she could alter her page.
till its torn and fade away.
and start to begin
from the beginning.

time traveler!

invisible. and go to those one of the most fantasies
life tht never exist in this world.
as she wishes unknown.


- if it truth, this would never started -

hence the laughter

eywa's simple part 1: mine atonement

I'm abit pissed off this morning, the school that's all of course.
why wasnt i told that i'm not suppose to come today and no lesson.
goshh! why am i invisible enough in class huh? horndogs! pissed off!
(sorry cos of language i'm really angry about it)
they shouldnt treat me like tht no matter how.

nway back to the story, what i'm tiredly support is hilwah's present.
supper exhausted man, wondering around jus for her bloody
perfume, gift bag and little but not less special sis card.
we tried so many time the perfume and at last i bought
a britney spears's brand perfume called curious.
well i havent got any specific reason of why i bought it but
as long as its smells to me, just shoot for it :P

another thing, karis, geez! this girl,
super annoying but sassy i suppose she is.
she has this quite fussy tasty little thing
about her present for eywa
"why do she need tht she already had it,
this not good that not good,"

seriously?


at last! i tell u what people, she bought anne klein's socks
which i thought quite interesting and cool
not just b'cos of the socks eywa gonna has for the first time
but also the brand anne klein whose quite similar to calvin klein. ha-ha
as long as it is. just get over it. i mean ur fussy taste and weird thought karis! lol

fatin, well this girl, she enjoyed her time in school and
i dont really know what she doin' cos i didnt really asked
about it but so far that i heard from her is
tht our past teacher, mine actually
hehe, having a show last i did last in yr 11.
i bet it greater than before fatin,
and i dont really what u gonna buy for eywa
but u told not to buy watch
so i guess that the one.
nway i heard also treat for eywa and karis
when i'm gone, that's not fair.
but i dont mind though, just tht i'm abit shame of myself,

seriously i am

*you always bought ot treat thing for us*

..........but we.........

we dont, we just ignore u sometimes,
for a while. and that made u mad. rite?
i noe we wrong and we ignorant for that,
sorry. really sorry.but dont worry

just to let u noe my dear (sarcastically)
i'll paid it back no matter what, remember that! ok?
insyAllah :)))

hence the laughter

It's a little bit funny this feeling inside me. I'm not one of those who can easily hide.

such a touching song that really touched my feeling ha-ha.

i'm being emotional lately. dont really have an idea why.

pretty impressive with ellie voice recently, she's good.

nway enjoy listening :D

*****

i dedicated this song to my friends:
karis, fariha, eywa and fatin especially
cos i think there's something going on with u. wink ;P
(as ur confession last night about the mong that u 'quite' hate with lol xD)

hence the laughter

story; utterance of PLL

There two girls randomly stand outside of the corridor

next to the door and chatting,

no offence if there is no chat if they come together

meeting and discuss with each other,

their life always fulfilled with enjoyment when they together

however it's break apart after come this girl,

who trying to share up her boredom with them

they ignore and not bothered,

they just care about their daily commitment

almost left out her without noticed,

and the girl......

she's by herself when to the store where there is lots strangers,

without knowing she met this girl

she's nice, often make jokes, and straight sometimes,

well they both get along well together so far

nevertheless some argues are obviously undeniable if say no,

so they did unfortunately, when someone give one eye of them

and suppose it was revenge,

but not big not small

one and another could consider upon it,

they not really bothered

what they cared is one wish,

not happiness or enjoyment, even a birthday present is not enough for it.

it will just one wish that they been looked

for many months

and nobody could reveal it.

hence the laughter

snowball fight in 1st Dec

1st December, the day we'all started,
we'all started to freaked out cos of overslept.lol
as we'all deadly tired cos of flippin' assignment. lol
cant be bother to walk to college seriously, i'd backbone ache
in which struggle my back to bow down like-a-sick-old-woman
seriously? ;p

-i'm mad maybe-

anyway,
enjoy myself with this common buddies,
well as u all know eywa and karis,
karis desperately need boots for her freakin (creppy hand sign)
dance day hah!
(whispered) well 2 b honest, i wont deny the fact tht high-heel better than boot

but this girl!

OMG!

seriously
we spent about 1 and half hours in town,
for finding BOOTS! (look how ridiculous' is tht)
2 reveal: she's kind of fussy-girl (in good way) ;P

but i dont mind, if i'm in her shoes, i would be same. lol
(just to distract really)

nway back to the topic, we actually had fun today,
trekked on heavy snow,
it was pleasantly awesome first, but after u wont said the word
i mean its crakkin'. my bone especially. lmao
frozen all around the body. lol xD

guess what! we had snow ball fight!, absolutely cool and fun
in the end we look like snow-man cause from it, hah! hw silly of us :O

nway it was such a beautiful day truthfully :D
for hos who missed (fariha) take a chance before u lost 'em haha. xD
tht's all actually i wanna to share. hehe :))

hence the laughter

confession; u tried ur best to cover it up with joy

i've got thing to tell, it was loads, loads like i even count it,
but what count is thing that significant in my sight,
well, first thing is i had this feeling where u're sometimes doesn't feel right,
personal that's all it was about,
imagine the way it turned out painfully at the same time,
u tried ur best to cover it up with joy,
that feeling is awesomely trouble-maker.

second was my graduation! yeay! i'm happy for it, of course.
can believe it, more further its just a simple ceremony to the end. :))

third, i'm glad i watched harry potter 7 (part 1), and
it was exciting for the first time, before was alright (sigh)

four, i'm kind of thinking bout my future, how thing's going
and i had no vision for it, i'm hopeless, seriously, same as you (refer to someone)
idk what to do, what to decide, no one give me hint :(

fifth, eywa birthday coming babes! i'm out of control,
checking for her present tht she being asked for many times.
branded-perfume. lol.
looking forward to it nway :DD

hence the laughter

SUCK!

I had problem just now. all was miserably twinge.

annoying i suppose. with my parent,

my sis, my work,my manager.

dunno? word i could think of now.

why? question i can't totally expressed in word

Everything suck up! I had enough blabbering.

its all mixed up! totally outstanding!

i'm totally ignorant!

i can't bare it! terrified!

hence the laughter

great 'time' aching body

true, that's what all is about for today,
me, eywa and karis went to town today.
what for? haha dont ask cos its actualy for nothing really,
just to satisfied our time, well i had this sort of like admiration-habit
or should i take it as a big appetite. haha.
plain noodles that we had in arndale food court last time,
it was delicious, impress me alot, though it just a PLAIN noodles
well, so weird of me, but that all we want. our shot for today.

karis suppose to buy clothes of herself, so we accompanied her
to H&M the store she adored the most. lol. what special about it really?
i can't really identify the interest. well go on karis, i dont mind, its all for urs anyway. :)

afterward, primark was the 2nd shop-store that we headed, nothing interested, boring as usual
no admire jumpers & gardigans, no eye-catching tops,
and even the shoes & inner clothes site looks tedious.

"karis,jom tgk bju tuh!" my eyes catched on this comfy jumper
written word 'paris,milan and tokyo'
it looks plain but nice really,
karis quite interest to it but at the same time she blabbered
about this kind of formal coat, so we cheered her up to look for it. baby-girl

~nona.nona.nona~
time past

at last, we bought the comfy jumper, three of us actually bought it
with the same style but different colour,
actually it was for our vacation in bangor which coming soon in next weekend
so we want to make a 'boom' not a real 'boom' just a simple one, haha
so bought it. and hopefully it'll fit us and the most thing is
satisfied with the style. hoho! cool man.
the cloth was cool, i tried it already. well looking forward the vacation
hopefully we have a great time like 'this' today,
it really does make my body aching all around the bones,
just b'cos of one day journey of fake-window-shopping lmao. xD

hence the laughter

clear in mind both of you beardy-lard and you! make-up stiffer

it was a boring friday today,
just like a normal work i've been doing everyday,
damn bored. i frankly hate it.
cos been in class that has 15 boys and only 2 girls
was absolutely terrified.
no friend, no talk, no commitment
totally ignorant.
i extremely annoyed, but pointless, however,
i have to admit and accept,

though, i've been like nearly a month in class,
meeting random guys sometimes,
could chill abit but i really dont get with this mouthy guy
totally annoying me, most of the time
he keeps bothering me,
and chatting sh*t about school client, his friends,
his work and his body as well!

he's odd, totally out of character, don't even like him
even if i believe that some girls think that he damn cute,
well in my eyes, he's a zero or loser maybe,
dont even know what he's doing. weirdo!

ouh ya, he keeps moaning this morning, about what?
about his aching body, what's the point? telling me huh?
dont u think i care? no i'm not!
i'm not bothered about your problem, mate!
serve ur right, hunging with your mates! really? bullsh*t
i noe it was his girlfriends that he hung with. cos it totally clear in his face
that he likes to sh*tting with girls. gosh! don't u think i'm that stupid and shallow?
hello, i'm not! bare that in mind! BEARDY-LARD!

and one more, this girl! BOASTFUL WOMAN, knocking my chair purposely,
she thinks i'm weirdo. not even speak to her.
well, she's the one who doesnt want to be friend with me,
at the first place, i did smile but you ignore,
so what the point if i'm being friendly to u?

i noe u actually jealous! on that time woman,
cos i'm speaking to this guy (the guy i mention above)
well, it's not my fault, he's the one who start first.
not me. MAKE-UP STIFFER!! and i also noe that
u just want his attention to distract him. well go ahead.
i dont mind! and i dont even care.
but the thing is why you pushing my chair? HUH?
arrogant woman!

hate all of this chaos, its really irritating! :(((

hence the laughter

tolerate? NO!

i had enough this evening with him.
totally annoyed with him.
why does he always make people lose control & angry?
is he has crap-mind or something!
URGH!
i'm extremely annoyed and tempered!!!

hence the laughter