i dont get this!
not just people around me. i even dont get myself
why do i feel empty inside.
i cant really describe but i can express
where it sometimes lonely and terrified
people around me seems busy with their work,
but me? what did i busy with? huh?
messing with my laptop every night
with random stuff and then go to college
where it is crap for me being
in the class like such an-ignorant-that-has-nothing
horrible to be honest be in that place,
this isnt my choice to be fair,
but i have to admit that i dont have any strength
or not one of those who has strong to face out people
who they really respect from the first time they met,
i have what need but i dont have what i want,
i have the chance but i dont really have idea which one was right
to me, and to be fair it feels like i didnt care.
any of it. it feels most of myself is
by following the rule of someone instead putting
myself and face it. reality. i always said i can do, i will do,
good luck, dont worry, take care, you're the best
but in real, i dont really see it in myself, in fact i dont see any
ability in myself, unless if i just tried to. do and do it again, cos
i noe at last i can do it. but at the end it turns awful
fail, what it is good in me? i dunno. worthless.
i want to cry in front of everybody, or even people
who i noe to let them noe, but i'm not to. cos i noe
that is just useless. not really help but give u shame in return
so what the point, i want to tell that i'm hurt here,
but i'm not cos i'm too coward to face the truth.
i said a good to everybody. give them courage, but to myself
i give rubbish to myself, believing thing that i can barely
think that it is false but i just can help myself through it
sometimes u tried, it failures u somehow,
so do i, it happens same to myself.
i'm not used to be this kind of person in real to be honest,
i hide whenever i'm hurt, i cried slowly whenever i'm in pain,
i dont really noe when its happening,
whenever it hurts or painful, it grows in me lot of time,
i wrote not to harm people, or even to receive any judgement
i wrote just to release my own thought.
not just people around me. i even dont get myself
why do i feel empty inside.
i cant really describe but i can express
where it sometimes lonely and terrified
people around me seems busy with their work,
but me? what did i busy with? huh?
messing with my laptop every night
with random stuff and then go to college
where it is crap for me being
in the class like such an-ignorant-that-has-nothing
horrible to be honest be in that place,
this isnt my choice to be fair,
but i have to admit that i dont have any strength
or not one of those who has strong to face out people
who they really respect from the first time they met,
i have what need but i dont have what i want,
i have the chance but i dont really have idea which one was right
to me, and to be fair it feels like i didnt care.
any of it. it feels most of myself is
by following the rule of someone instead putting
myself and face it. reality. i always said i can do, i will do,
good luck, dont worry, take care, you're the best
but in real, i dont really see it in myself, in fact i dont see any
ability in myself, unless if i just tried to. do and do it again, cos
i noe at last i can do it. but at the end it turns awful
fail, what it is good in me? i dunno. worthless.
i want to cry in front of everybody, or even people
who i noe to let them noe, but i'm not to. cos i noe
that is just useless. not really help but give u shame in return
so what the point, i want to tell that i'm hurt here,
but i'm not cos i'm too coward to face the truth.
i said a good to everybody. give them courage, but to myself
i give rubbish to myself, believing thing that i can barely
think that it is false but i just can help myself through it
sometimes u tried, it failures u somehow,
so do i, it happens same to myself.
i'm not used to be this kind of person in real to be honest,
i hide whenever i'm hurt, i cried slowly whenever i'm in pain,
i dont really noe when its happening,
whenever it hurts or painful, it grows in me lot of time,
i wrote not to harm people, or even to receive any judgement
i wrote just to release my own thought.
hence the laughter
