blowing mind...i totally have no idea!

first start, it been a while guys!!!

seen how long? well i dunno, cos its beeeen toooo longggg....i havent post anything, so today i decided to post one.

too many things i like to do recently, one of it, becoming an ADDICT novel's reader. haha....kinda nerdy freak...well who cares!...nway guys back to our intention-ed topic!  its my second part start!! nearly 6 months im been uitm kedah...and today one of my friend just spoke to me bout her feeling of my migration to uitm perak...and to tell truth....i been waiting...day by day,,,

hoping my request to be approved. sooner is better....its not i dont like, but my heart just not here...i cant really make it clear why and why i really want to move....

nway again!

since i dont "really" move. just not yet!...how about speak of my second part!...it was tough this times! to be honest....too many subject to memorize and understand. well of course! cant deny that!  but it just i doubt it. about how well i can go with this freaking killing subjects. QMT! the lecturer is speaking by herself and with the wall sometimes lol. sorry but it is true...she just making too much pauses in her sentences as well as examples which is NOT really clear to me. ECO is new...cos just met her this week well no complaint!...MGT! yeah! this one. OMG! the lecturer was too fantastic!! *creepy finger (sarcastically) in the opposite way, she just blab-erring too much...with her vexatious  mouth mimic...wow! like-an-extremely-annoying-teacher. she just loved too babble while teaching...babble...and babble...then making a YOU question....expecting each of us to ask a question...not in a kind or normal but forcing!...yeah forcing!...in what way and how?? by the glare of her protruding eyes asking us to ask a question according to her speech...by pulling off with the participation mark!!...i know she try to make us feel as if we are challenged! i know that!... but come on! that is like pushing! seriously pushing and that bug me a lottt! dah la masa lecture...ckp cepat! sambil kitaorng tulis pulak tu!...serious tension! i dont found her interesting. seriously no!....no fun! BEL...totallly opposite to MGT. theres alot of us burst of laughter when he speak...cos this F was too F_boom!!! FUNNY!!!....he was too hilarious....a single word that come out of his mouth...can cause a laughter...seriously. no jokes about that...i dun really how he can always be funny in front us...but he alwasy did eventhough when he had too much classes in a day...and our comes the last but he still being the lovely capricious...i like him!...AS a lecturer ok! FAR was alright...the lecturer is lovely...shes pregnant and im totally understand her condition. especially after looking at the video En Nik...just showed to us in BPC...it was frightened as if we feel the smarting pain. so today i declared...not to be harsh to umi..so does my ayah...because it hard to imagine how they feel after what they did to you after what you have right now. you guys should apply too. always love and love them...: )

till now. i continued later.

                                                                                                                                        hence the laughter

                                                                                                                                                  H.O 

to my beloved umi...keep my prays tight

to my beloved umi,

u are my heart, u are my mind,
u always there, u never left me behind
day and night, fresh or tired
taking care of me
touch, hug, cuddle and kiss
everyday

till i've grown up. Now
i'm a youth.
i'm a woman.
And i'm a contestant.

Chasing my dream
Like you, mom
Everyday
Never give up

till one day. Soon
I grab that morterboard
I woo that standing ovation
I tag that flowers and gifts
All for you, mom

I'll promise
Keep my prays tight.

hence the laughter

the more you explain the complicated it turns.

say if there is two events involved in one person.

likely to be a triangle love.

one is for you love the most and he is the one.

one is for the love of ur family, he's too kind. and you worship his love.

you chose the second instead of the first, and you married him.

even though you know that you are in the middle of the line and still undecidable.

the first couldnt accept his fate...

next day after tomorrow,

u heartbroken and almost left with half of ur heart.

the second irresponsible. he didnt kept his word till the end.

you met the first. and fell into that adventure world. again.

where there is no wreck and no lies,

as if the world is belong to u and him.

...

too bad. the happiness just stick like a glue. doesnt stay long.

he bobbed up and down the past. he couldnt accept it.

at last he leave u. and u

u are in nowhere near to that line again.

moral of the story:

i know everyone bobbed up and down. the past and the present.

in fact we learn from it. but there is a time where you couldnt explain thing right.

the more u explain the complicated it turns. it even tougher if they still think ur explanation is excuse. that why understanding is important. understand each other is one of the best technique. like flour and egg. u hv to stir them wisely to make them 'understand' each other and to form a good product.

hence the laughter

to love is to suffer...

to love is to suffer. to avoid suffering, one must not love, but then one suffers from not loving. therefore, to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. to be happy is to love. to be happy then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. therefore, to be happy, one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.

hence the laughter

random story: inspirational from Van Gogh paints

see all these paints guys? pretty impressive.right?
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i know2. its kinda of boring. oh well, my mind just popped with this random stuff. i loved the way van gogh inspired those paints although he's abit sentimental artist.

i mean his passion to art was too tense but too bad it misleads him to painful anxiety in which later caused his death.



anyway, back to the paint, see the sunflowers? guess how many of 'em?
tell u what people, forget the count. let go to the fact. the sunflowers represent a subject of two series of still life. van gogh once shared letter to his brother to express his feeling & gratitude "It is a kind of painting that rather changes in character, and takes on a richness the longer you look at it. You know that the peony is jennin's, the hollyhock belongs to quost, but the sunflower is somewhat my own." man...his thought is WAY tell how much emotion he has put into that effective artwork.

different thought of mine, i personally think that the paint could be reflect to the new meeting friend. Likewise, we as people, ALWAYS judge everything from its cover. but why? why dont we know them first? that help for friendship. right?
(too sophisticated? sorry but i dont really know or even justify if this reflect is relevant or not to his, anyway no offence.)

Fine, let say informally, my sister. she has too many fussy things in her life that really bring me an extreme annoyance. but still i appreciate her attitudes, times and loveliness tht she brought to me, makes me thinks that we need each other in our life and no one else could replace that.

and so yh. (get what i mean now)





to conclude...??? well frankly speak. no idea cos its just a new inspire post for today.

hence the laughter

love is strong and pain at the same time

LOVE is STRONG and PAIN

two love,

different story,

one for person you need

and

one for person you want.

two love,

both important,

one helps for happiness

and

one helps for cheerfulness.

two love,

have a strong bond,

attached from deathless rose,

both blossom passionately.

two love,

however... and somehow...

cannot bring less than intangible bond.

hatred.animosity.malevolence.

never bring thing smoothly.

tearing such an adventure fervor.

hence the laughter

Shopping in Cheshire Oaks

simply starts. my parent was planning to go on designers outlet just to buy watch for umi. but, despite of having us there, and of course we would want something, so he bought us bags from fossil. it is rare that he bought it. cos everytime we come, he always buy kitchenware instead of clothingware.

but guys there's a reason upon it. he bought it for our college use. xp

candid of fossil plastic bags. i absolutely loved where it said "what vintage are we?"

these are the FOC watch cases. the woman loved when we bought so many stuffs, that's why she gave this free. i guess. so...

hence the laughter

Untitled confession - code we trying to know you, that's all

We had an argument a while ago, not big deal but small matter u noe girls...the story starts, F discovered our NOT-REALLY-A-SECRET!she start to ask E and E doesnt meant to lie or hiding it. She was on her way to tell F. but it too little too late. she found it first and think it 'negatively' i mean some misunderstanding happen in this. the secret was involved M and E and I mainly hide it because of F bro birthday. E and I promised to come early to F house in the morning but cancel.
my dad ask us to come to CBS. we cannot refused it. cos we moaned about hanging out with family the other day before. so. we still going. we didnt know M coming until his dad rang my dad and said tht he's coming. my dad totally shocked cos they coming, it is very rare tht they would come with us on tht day.

and the badminton game with M, in which F really disappointed on. the most. we didnt really plan to play. but IQRAM (uncle Khairul son) bought new badminton set for 4 players. so I want to join them. E doesnt do anything on that time, she's shy and I was the one who being giddy to play, and the game was ACTUALLY BETWEEN ME, EYWA, IQRAM and MUSTAQIM.
nothing bout him at all, he just urgh! idk hw to describe. THAT's ALL!

but in sudden an hour ago, F getting mad at eywa and saying this

A RANDOM MSIAN PEOPLE? excuse me? (i didnt get that word properly)
after all we being through and u said we treat u like a random msian? truly disgraced.

second thing, i've said to her i want to come to her house and she said no one in house and dont bother coming.
i asked why, this is her answer. SY XNK CKP SBB SY X NK UNGKIT BENDE LEPAS. excuse me again. but i think she bring it up first especially the old trafford story. we had plan to go out on tue 28 June to go out and i believe. in fact positive
that i hv said we will go out at 9pm but suddenly u sent me text saying i came at 12 something.
not trying to blame this on any of us whether it is between U, Me or E but to solve it. instead. i want to solve it cos IT'S OUT MATTER, OUR FRIENDSHIP AND WE HAD GONE THROUGH IT.

but F, i hv to say something, why did u say
"korg mcm let do fun things n not to get fatin involved. xyah btau die pon."
do you really think that we having fun? uhuh! we're not at all. M is nothing compared to u. we had more fun when we with u
one thing to remind F: we never had tht intention in mind. how could us? if we think that u're close friend to us and
no one else is. PLUS we trying to know u. u noe.

but its ok. if this happen. we can try to forget it like u always did.
lastly i apologize for EVERYTHING...


OK! stop the drama, here is the most precious to me. atirah my BFF like our T and she called it DP (i actually hv no idea what it is stands for) but nway she's liked it and i'm glad to hear it. if i hv a chance, i wouldnt mind to buy one for her. she'll fit it most
the fact tht she had clashed with his recent bf so i'll suggest her to seek for a new one. who deserve her truthfully and better than a piece of rubbish! btw no matter what tira, i'll support u from behind and good luck buddy! imyilysmuch xxx.

p/s: one thing to learn; try to treat people on their best but not to change them cos it is the best way for them... I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.

hence the laughter

Little Miss Seeks Mr. Perfect

starting the point, i'm proudly showing u guys our
team T, it was AWESOME, but the quote was a bit cheesy and lousy.
tbh sound cheap and if i could (i mean as an IF) i would like
to put NOT after either Miss or Mr. to make it more appealing.
pffftt! like we really ARE seeking for Nor Miss or Mr Perfect. haha.

nway i'll stop babble. here the T

Hence the laughter

i noe that it maybe against and its a sin to say this

its been a week and 2 days now,

we went college without HER,

feels abit empty inside but there's nothing i can do with it,

want to cry, there's no point, want to share, there's nobody that i comfort with at the moment,

why was its lonely inside,

now in the week, since Monday, two of youth supporter,

asked me about HER, why?., i just dont get,

why right now? why was the day that SHE's fine,

i dont want to tell, i seriously dont,

i just want to forget about what has happen

i dont want to believe to be honest,

although i said it many times, but inside,

i dont think i did. believe it,

i feel normal like i used to be,

-----strange-----

but that what happen in real,

although i really dont want to believe this,

but it just came in my mind whenever i said it,

i noe that it maybe against and it's a sin to say this,

but why this happen to HER?

she's a nice person, clever, well intelligent than me,

i noe that sometimes i annoyed & said bad thing to her,

that just happen when i mad,

but to be honest, i dont really mean it,

i noe i bad, not as good as other people,

but pls, i just dont get it, and i hope i will in the future,

pls help HER and save her from suffering,

i noe she can fight this, she's tough, her parent also tough,

even her brothers and sisters as tough as HER,

pls dont take her now, i'd still have alot thing to tell, and

maybe she has alot of thing to say to us, pls,

"Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku,
kuatkanlah zahir and batinnya dalam menempuh

dugaanMu, dan aku berharap
agar dia dapat membuka matanya

melihat alam ini dengan cerah
dan tiada pertentangan yg menghalangnya, selamatkanlah

dia daripada sengsara dan
sembuhkanlah dia, tolonglah Ya Allah,, makbulkan doa hambamu ini"

~Amin~

hence the laughter

love for you after you break up - xiao yu

Other than that we become lovers than strangers
i always helpless about loving you for giving me the talent

the process of moving into a hurt yo a bit mildly
but you reminded me there a way to understand the pain

you so brave than me
since you went away i could not get away

my love is no limit to the distance of even just a friend
all my love for you after you break up
i knew it was too late, but i will not go to shows
all my love for you after you break up
said that after you break up

hence the laughter

its true what we called there's no happy ending in our life, *only happy moment*

flipped.
sick of all of this frustration, grievance, annoyance, depression.
why won't there a space of happiness.
its true what we called there's no happy ending in our life,
*only happy moment*
everything we through in life is everything we learn
through mistake that we made in daily life.
some people even repeat their fault
eventhough they know it's wrong.
but there's also people who cant defeat with their fate.
their destiny. their obstacle.
they pretend to believe but in truth, they aint

they just want to smile so tht another wont hurt
confession is right choice to everyone.
you tell and you shared

but somehow it would hurt another.
and you wont know it.
cos they dont tell, and u didnt ask.
but so far in this. what u know is just to handle it,
and keep it secure in mind tht it is unknown.

hence the laughter

guilty shadows

twinkle twinkle little star
how i wonder what u are.

******

people see thing.
various. many type. bright and dark.
but somehow between those line
grow a shadow where no one believe
was it right or wrong
no one can judge.

but inside, the guilt that grow for long
she cant handle it, she had enough with it
she just want to get rid. but no one care.
no one ever ask how she feels
inside.

she shame of herself. living with those shadows.
she wishes she could alter her page.
till its torn and fade away.
and start to begin
from the beginning.

time traveler!

invisible. and go to those one of the most fantasies
life tht never exist in this world.
as she wishes unknown.


- if it truth, this would never started -

hence the laughter

when the sell comes first and truth comes second. just 1 min stop! smile why everybody acting so serious acting so damn mysterious!

people lied. when the sell comes first and truth comes second.
seems to be obssessed. especially cash-stuffers. (myself act)

life is all about money, money, money but somehow it wont on ur world,
price tag wont own your life. remember that!

nway nice catch from jessie j. :P

hence the laughter

It's a little bit funny this feeling inside me. I'm not one of those who can easily hide.

such a touching song that really touched my feeling ha-ha.

i'm being emotional lately. dont really have an idea why.

pretty impressive with ellie voice recently, she's good.

nway enjoy listening :D

*****

i dedicated this song to my friends:
karis, fariha, eywa and fatin especially
cos i think there's something going on with u. wink ;P
(as ur confession last night about the mong that u 'quite' hate with lol xD)

hence the laughter

story; utterance of PLL

There two girls randomly stand outside of the corridor

next to the door and chatting,

no offence if there is no chat if they come together

meeting and discuss with each other,

their life always fulfilled with enjoyment when they together

however it's break apart after come this girl,

who trying to share up her boredom with them

they ignore and not bothered,

they just care about their daily commitment

almost left out her without noticed,

and the girl......

she's by herself when to the store where there is lots strangers,

without knowing she met this girl

she's nice, often make jokes, and straight sometimes,

well they both get along well together so far

nevertheless some argues are obviously undeniable if say no,

so they did unfortunately, when someone give one eye of them

and suppose it was revenge,

but not big not small

one and another could consider upon it,

they not really bothered

what they cared is one wish,

not happiness or enjoyment, even a birthday present is not enough for it.

it will just one wish that they been looked

for many months

and nobody could reveal it.

hence the laughter

Lamb - Gabriel

her voice was incredibly awesome, really love it. good job! lou rhodes.

hence the laughter

why did fall in love with you ♥

translation:

Why did I end up falling for you?

No matter how much time has passed,I thought that you would always be here

But you have chosen a different road

Why wasn't I able to convey to you?

My feelings that were growing everyday and night

The words begin to overflow

But I know they won't reach you now

From the first day that I met you

I felt like I knew you

And the two of us melded together so naturally

Wherever we would go, it would be together

It was so natural for you to be with me

We became adults together

But you chose a different road

Why did I end up falling for you?

No matter how much time has passed,I thought that you would always be here (but not anymore)

Today, the day that holds a special meaning

The day that you stood with a smile of happiness

Praying to God in your beautiful appearance

With the person next to you who isn't me

The image of you receiving blessings

How could I just stand aside and watch

So why did I end up falling for you?

We can't go back to that time, or how we were (I've thought it through)

Why wasn't I able to take your hand?

No matter how much time passes

You always should've been by my side

Now it will never come true

But, even though I say that I need you close to me

I just pray that you will be happy forever

No matter how lonely that makes me (or how sad)

hence the laughter

lesson #5

hence the laughter

lesson #4

I change myself change the WORLD

Our greatest glory is in
FALLING but in RISING
Every time we fall

hence the laughter